my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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