Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
