yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
