Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
worst night to have a conscience
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
