@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
