So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
