last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
