Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
