Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
