wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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