Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Operation Purity has been aborted
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize