He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
