Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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