we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
