Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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