It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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