is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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