had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
