i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
