are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
