The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
