Kiss
Puke
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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