i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
