I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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