If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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