I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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