just tell him i said nine months
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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