hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
