id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
