I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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