That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
