hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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