So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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