Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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