Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
