my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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