I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
