Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
