no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
