Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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