do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
