Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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