Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
