Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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