I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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