that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
