I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
