I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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