So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
