1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize