Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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