I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
