Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
