Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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