I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
