And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
A+ Viking dick
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
