My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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