Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
