take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
