so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
