Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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