ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
