its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Send help, water and tortillas.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
