Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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