is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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