someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
