Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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