get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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