There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
