I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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