he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
