I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
