I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
