Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
