You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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