I'm jealous of your bromance
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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